Depression, stress and anxiety can have a debilitating effect on many different aspects of life, and their all-encompassing nature could result in your sex drive being very low or even non-existent. There is no fix-all cure for this, but there are small steps you can take to adopt a different approach to the problem.
Treating Your Depression Should Still be a Priority
No matter how concerned you or your partner are about its effects on your sex drive, treating your depression should still be a priority. Some anti-depressants are known to have a negative effect on sex drive and if your medication comes under this category, a good starting point would be to talk to your GP about the possibility of changing your anti-depressant or lowering your dose.
Never cut down or stop taking your medication without consulting your doctor. Although concerns about your sex drive are valid, this could end up making the situation and your depression much worse.
Talk to Your Partner
Discussing the issue with your partner could alleviate a lot of stress. You may be concerned about your sex drive on your partner’s behalf (something that can contribute to your anxiety and stress), but talking things over might reveal this problem isn’t as much of an issue with them as you think.
Sometimes a lack of communication can have as much of an effect on sex drive as a mental health issue, and it’s important to let your partner know that depression is the root cause of your lack of libido rather than any lack of attraction on your part.
View Sex in a Different Way
Good sex doesn’t have to mean always having an orgasm or full penetration. When measuring the notion of ‘good sex’ using strict criteria you could be limiting yourself and contributing to the feeling of failure. In this context, addressing the issue of a low sex drive could well have some positive benefits with you and your partner – by looking a sex in a different way and trying new positions and techniques, you could not only open up a whole new world but also ease the pressure you’ve been putting on yourself to perform.
Try developing your foreplay, or introducing some sex toys into the mix. Or maybe think about what you enjoy most and go from there – if you like erotic massage, focus on that for now and perhaps it will lead onto a desire for more in the future.
There’s No Such Thing as a ‘Normal’ Sex Drive
Many concerns about a lack of libido stem from a pressure from outside factors and a common misperception that everyone else has a much higher sex drive, and therefore you are not the normal one. There is no such thing as a ‘normal’ sex drive. How often couples have sex or how they enjoy sex varies considerably, and the most important thing, especially when combined with treating a mental health issue, is that you and your partner feel comfortable.